I went to an old-fashioned residential school for female students, which was governed by military. Every year, 1000 of 7th graders would sit in a competitive exam, and only 50 – 60 of them would get selected. Life would be super difficult for the 12-13 year olds after that. Waking up with a whistle, getting ready to go for physical training, coming back and getting ready for dining hall and academic block, lunch, rest time, feeetime, 1st prep, games time, evening prayer, 2nd prep, dinner, 3rd prep and lights out. The same routine the next day. Back then, I hated it so much. It had no excitement, wearing the same boring uniforms in your teenage.
I was given a side desk in the classroom. I would, most of the time, look out of the window and watch the dark black pitched road, usually used for standing in rows to get to the academic buildings. When other people were solving mathes or English quizzes, I was sitting there daydreaming. I didn’t want to be anyone but me and sit and dream all the time. I loved that damp road after rain and the tall trees. And another thing I wanted is just getting out of there. Go abroad and study. 13 years later, when I was sitting in my first class in Leiden, I was thinking of that poor, sad, dark, thin, small girl who literally had nothing. I just had one dream. During that sad time, I found a passion for reading and writing. The school fortunately had a good enough library. I used my time to read some of the best pieces of English literature then. I got to know Mr. Darcy. I met Gilbert later and found him more suitable to my taste.
As time went by, I found that as much as I hated being there, it helped me so much to take care of my boys. The oldest has autism. The 2nd one probably also has it. He has not been diagnosed yet. But that regular routine we had to follow at school, it made my kids’ lives easier. He needs a very structured schedule. If any of it doesn’t happen, he gets confused. They have limited social presence, just like mine at his age. My dad himself was strict about our social presence. He was old-fashioned fashioned too, and thought kids should be presented socially when they were ready.
My home is also very simple. Easy to access, organised for them to find anything they need to be as much independent as possible.
My children also wear simple cloths which are simple enough for them to wear on their own.
After 24 years of attending that school, in a lesser known city in Bangladesh, I started appreciating it as a blessing.
Whatever comes upon the way was probably the best plan at that particular time and might have better outcomes in the future. Thus, we need to appreciate everything that is showered upon us.